there are approximately 1,013,913 words in the english language but i could never string any of them together to explain how much i want to hit you with a chair.
sleep with me so i can put my freezing feet on you and probably take all of the covers and use you as a pillow
I was on the subway. It was me alone and there were 3 people sitting across from me. It was perfectly fine, until I noticed that the women in the middle kept staring at me. She wouldn’t stop. Her eyes were wide open and she never stopped to look the other way.
Midway throughout my ride a man came…
only drivers will get this one: driving
My girlfriend has been saying ‘voglio scoparti’ which is Italian for ‘i wanna fuck’ for the past hour in front of my parents and I don’t think she realizes that my parents are fluent in Italian and I’m too much of an ass to tell her that
something u ordered online finally arriving